I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT

Do I sound excited? I should 'cause I DID IT!!!!! The scale read 238.8 this morning when I steeped on it which means two things, 1) I broke through 240 and 2) I am 1 pound away from having lost 150 pounds! Wow, I feel good. When I saw my doctor Monday I asked him about upping my protein intake because I am so active. Protein is essential to losing weight, If you are not getting enough protein your body goes into starvation mod and actually stores everything it can, I was drinking 90 grams of protein a day and when I was riding I would have to stop and eat a protein bar because I was feeling sick. Not a low sugar sick but a lack of protein sick and as soon as I ate it I would feel better. This week I am drinking 120 grams of protein, i have not had to stop and eat a protein bar, I feel better and I broke the 240 mark. If your trying to lose look at the amount of protein you are taking in. The Costco brand ready made protein drink in great. 11 oz of drink, 30 grams of protein with only 160 calories, low fat and low sugar, they are great! Well, only 18.8 pounds to me goal, come on 220!!!!!!

Today is a New Day

Psalm 139 says that every day ordained for me was written in His Book before one of them came to be. This means that today is an ordained day, it has been set aside before it ever started so it is going to be a great day. Everything that happens to us is all relative to how we see it. Really, is it a bad day because bad things have happened, or is it an ordained day. It doesn't mean that what is happening isn't bad because bad things do happen but how I look at those bad things in the light of today itself being ordained will help me cope and live through that bad thing. I think Paul said it will when he wrote, "I am convinced that there is absolutely nothing that can separate me from the love of Christ." When I got on the scale today I really didn't expect what I saw. I was letting discouragement lead me and it almost kept me from stepping on. I was expecting 245, 247 somewhere in that neighborhood, what I saw was 242. Discouragement was telling me that I had lost ground and I was letting it lead me, BUT, today is ordained. I believe that God gave me a glimpse. I have not broken 240, not yet, but the glimpse I saw, latter confirmed while doing my devotions was that I have to choose my out look. I can be lead by discouragement or I can see my ordained day ad see it as a great day. Discouragement would have kept me from seeing what God wanted me to see, discouragement would have kept me believing that I can't do it. Discouragement would have stopped my progress today. But today has been ordained for me, today has been set before it has even started and today I have a choice. To see the day as ordained no matter what happens or be lead by discouragement and miss the opportunity of God. Today is ordained.

Feeling Discouraged

I really am, the past 15 days I have been working out, biking, eating right journaling and I can't seem to break 240, it's frustrating!!! Ok, I don't want to rant about what I can't do because I know it can be done. I also know that with persistence it will happen, I just wish it would happen sooner then later. Ahh, the mark of my generation, we want it all and we want it now. Weight loss is not like that, even with great tools such as the lap band. It still takes work, it still takes, discipline and perseverance. I still feel discouraged... So, here is my plan; Up my work outs with weights to 5 days a week instead of three. Do some form of cardio 7 days a week. With day light savings time my biking will change but I will ride at least three times a week, I just have to come home from work early meaning I will to have to go in early but biking is worth it!!! I will continue to journal and set goals form myself everyday, reachable and measurable. I can do it!!!!!!

I am doing it!!!

10 days ago I started really going after it again. I started journeying my food, my calorie intake, what I am eating and when I an eating it. It has been amazing to see the change! Today I got on the Scale and it was 241.9 which means that if I keep this going I will be down into the 230's really soon. That's a mini goal of mine. Almost there...
I am lifting wights in the morning, 3 days a week, with my good friend Ted and it has made all the difference in the world. Thank you Ted!!! When I started 10 days ago I was at 249.7 which means that for the last 6 weeks I have been stuck in the upper 240's not because I was on a plateau but because I got complacent, satisfied with my looks and lost sight of my goal. It was getting hard and instead of working at it I started coasting but now I am back and feeling great and looking at my goal, 21 more pounds and I am there!!!

Starting again and aagain and again and...

Well, I guess if the Bible says to forgive 70x7 and beyond then I have the opportunity to start again and again and again and... do you get my point! Today I started to journal again, writing down my foods, water drinking, vitamins, exercise. It felt good, everything that went into the my mouth was written out on paper and it was a good thing! Accountability is always good and I need it. In order to have a lifestyle change and not fall back into old habits that have been knocking on my door I will have to maintain the accountability for a really long time and I am OK with that!

My Struggle

Well, I saw my Dr. on Monday and this past month I lost no weight. I can't say that I am disappointed because I was kind of expecting it. I have all the great excuses, a week of vacation, a week of teaching a 40 hour class, missed several days of exercise, totally off my routine and schedule. Good excuses and they all work but still excuses none the less. The real reason is that I am really struggling with old habits and bad eating. I had to laugh... and cry..., I was bragging to Lisa that I had not had any teriyaki in a few weeks and what do I eat that very night??? Teriyaki!!! Dang it!!! That stuff is so full of sodium and not good for you. I really am struggling. An alcoholic can stay away from alcohol but a food-alcoholic has to eat, it sucks and my discipline has been weak. I know what I have to do, smaller portion sizes, no late snacking, start lifting weights and not just get a cardio work out. If I make these changes I will break through into the 230's, I am so darn close. I have been bouncing between 241 and 246 this past month, up and down, up and down. This time it is not a plateau but a matter of discipline and work. I have to count my calories, which is something I have stopped doing, track what I am eating and cut my portions. I am eating until I am stuff, not just full. It is so strange still to eat such a small portion and feel full. My brain tells me to keep eating. I have to stop listening to it!
Ok. This is a new month, the past is behind me and the day is ahead. Jesus said don't worry about tomorrow because today has enough problems of its own. So, today, I will count my calories. Today, I will watch my portions. Today, I already meet with Ted Cook who is going to start lifting weights with me starting Friday. Today, we put our plan into place and set up our new work out. Today, I will eat but I will not be controlled by what I eat. I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me!!!!

A New Blog!!!!

Oh man I will tell you what, now that I am under 250, bouncing between 264 and 248 actually, it has gotten hard. The last 5 pounds I have had to work for. I know, I know, losing weight is something you have to work at but dropping the weight as fast as i did it really wasn't much work. I think I got a little complacent. I have not cheated or been bad but I have not watched my eating as closely and have struggle because of it. In the last few weeks I have really struggled with wanting to eat poorly again. I guess it is the same as some one struggling with alcohol after not drinking for a period of time suddenly the cravings are there. It's tough! I have changed up my exercise routine, going to the gym and doing weights and then cardio in the morning and I am still mountain bike riding almost everyday after work. the key is to take in less calories then you burn in a day, lay off the sugar and the carbs and let the weight come off. Yeah, easier said then done but absolutely doable! Well here are my end of the month pictures. My body is changing still and I actually bought a size 36 jeans the other day, never thought I would buy a pair of 36 pants again, that was cool! Anyways, here are the pics...

Jan 20 Aug 28

I did it, I did it!!!!!!! But....

Yep, you guessed it, I broke 250, finally!!!!!!!!! I was on the scale this morning and it read 248.8, YES!!!!!!!!!!! I have now lost a total of 139 pounds and only have 29 more pounds to go! But.... This has not been without some struggle. The last time I saw my Dr. he put more silicone in my band which restricted my stomach even more. I have to slow my eating and chew chew chew, good grief. Now I am understanding what I have been told, "You throw up if you to much" My food gets stuck really easily if I don't chew super well. The last few meals have been thrown up. I hate throwing up but I hate not been able to breath even more, humm, the lesser of the two evils is throwing up. So I have to really concentrate when I eat, little bites and chew chew chew, oh and small portions helps to. :) I can see how easily it would be to fall into some really bad, old habits of the food addiction. I am a food-aholic and I have to keep that in front of me, like AA... there really should be a FA, a lot of people could get help. Food is an addiction and it is holding so many people captive which is why I am on a Freedom Journey. I will no longer be held in the bonds of food!!!!!!!

250 Freakin Pounds!!!!

Through this weight loss journey I have had a lot of "mini" goals set to help me reach the big one of 220 pounds. Breaking through 250 is one of those mini goals, well, always a victim of Murphy's Law, for the last two weeks I have been sitting right at 252/251. We went on a camping vacation came home and... 251, aaahhhhhh. Yesterday I got on the scale and guess where I was? Yep, 250.1 .1, can you believe it!!!! Man! This morning, 251.2 good God, I gained an ounce. I cant wait to see 249.9! We had a great vacation, here are a few pictures of me doing what I did a lot of, something that I could not have done just 6 months ago because I would not have fit.

Newest Pictures, Biggest Loser Style!!!!

These pictures continue to speak for themselves. Having this surgery is the second best thing I have done, the first was the day I married my bride! So here are the newest pictures...

"Drink Water" July 21st

38 and 38 and more...

Thanks Al for bringing this to my attention, I turned 38 years old a few days ago and I am now wearing a size 38 pants, funny... I guess when I think about going from a 54 to a 38 in a matter of 6 months it brings a smile. I love my life style, mountain biking every day, walking in the mornings, eating right. I have to say that I am getting bored of my walks in the morning. I am making 3 laps around the neighborhood, I think I need a change, a new place to walk. There are lots of place to go I just hate walking down the Maple Valley Hwy with no sidewalk, I am afraid I or Dante will get sucked in under a dump truck as it goes by at 60 miles an hour! I am down now to 253.3 which means I have lost 134 pounds and have 33 pounds to go to my goal. I see my Doctor on Monday and plan on having my band filled which will restrict my stomach more and cut my eating again which will be good. last month the Dr told me that because I have lost so much internal fat around my organs that I am actually able to eat more because there is more room in there now. If I get the band fill it will restrict my eating and I will continue to lose the weight.

Climbing the South Face

Six months ago I could hve never done it, I would have thought about but there's no way that I could physically could have pulled it off. 130 pounds lighter, 37 pounds away from my goal weight and here I am, I took these picture after getting to the top myself...

10 Pounds this Month and Mount Adams

I went in and had my monthly Dr. appointment today. I lost a total of 10 pounds this month. Only half of what I have been losing but I am not disappointed because I am still losing more then they expect. The Dr. would like to see at least 8 pounds a month. One of the issues I am having is my meal size, they are getting bigger. The Dr. said that because I am losing the fat around my stomach I am actually able to eat more but I need to be disciplined and maintain small meals. Not a bad problem to have, the fat around my organs is disappearing.
In other news, I am getting ready to climb Mt. Adams in a couple of weeks, I can't wait! I have been getting my gear together and getting ready. Losing this weight has been amazing, I am rediscovering a whole new life style, wow.

The Biggest Loser, I could have won!!!!!!!

I will let the pictures speak for themselves!

Jan 21st

June 20th

266 and Falling

These were taken at the dedication ceremony for our new Fire Station in Covington, Station 78. Mayor Harto had the lap band surgery done and has lost over 200 pounds, she has been a real inspiration and encouragement to me. I know, the Class A uniform is to big and I even have had it altered once already. I will be ordering new uniforms in October.

New Pics and I Broke the Plataue!!!

These pictures were taken the other night at the Cops with Cancer Dinner/Auction Event. it was a fun night! I have not been able to get below 272 in several days, it was getting frustrated. I hit a plateau a few months ago that was really hard to break and it seems like every few weeks I get a couple of days that I don't lose but this one was almost two weeks. Finally, after some revaluation of food and exercise, am I getting complacent? Not trying hard enough? I broke through and hit 270, YES!
I am sorry that I have not up-dated in awhile, I have been super busy. One of the things I need to start doing again is blogging. it really helped me at the beginning and I think it will help me now so check back and if you don't see a new post call me on it!

Floating in the 270's

I feel like I have been floating in the 270's for a long time. I know it has only been a week but still, good grief. I seem to lose a bunch and sit for awhile, frustrating. But.... I have to buy a new belt AGAIN because I am on the last notch and I am wearing a pair of 40 jeans and since I was wearing size 56 I really can't complain. Anyways, I thought I would post since in has been a few days, weeks... :)

Saw My Doctor Today

Every 4 weeks I have to go in and see my weight lose doctor. They want to know how I am doing and what changes are taking place, complications and things like that. I also can have the lapband adjusted. So, here is the official report for the doctors office; In the last 4 weeks I have lost 19 pounds and I am officially at 110.8 pounds lost so far. I did not get an adjustment because I am comfortable with where I am at, losing a good amount of weight and eating just the right amount of food. It's all good!!!!

My Newest Biggest losser Pose

I know I know, you will never look at me the same!!! But hey, when you look at the comparison it is a huge difference. I could not use the same shorts because they won't stay on!

The Key

Sorry, it has been a while since I was able to post. I have been so stinkin' busy the last week.... Exercise, exercise, exercise. It is hard to believe the amount of people who want to lose weight but are not willing to put in the work it requires. It seems that way with a lot of things actually. I tell you, it was hard at first but after a couple of weeks I started really enjoying my morning walks and now I feel weird if I don't get on in after I get up. It is amazing what a brisk walk will do, it is not hard on your joints, or your knees while jogging or running can be. Some of us "bigger" people can't run or jog anyways so we don't even go out and walk. NO! Go walk, just 20 min would work but if you can do 20 you can do 30. I will tell you straight up that I could not have done this weight lose without the lap band, it has not been my magic pill, it has been the tool to get me to where I am at. But the key has not been the band, it has been the exercise, I walk every morning, 30 - 40 mins and at least 5 afternoons a week I am on my mountain bike or the Bowflex we have at home. Eating right is a must but with out exercise, well...

100 POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!

I DID IT... 100 POUNDS LOST!!!!!!!!!! Finally, over the last few days I have been getting closer and closer and closer but not there yet..... until today. The scale this morning read 287.6. Wow, it feels great to reach a milestone like that. It has been a lot of work, the lap band has enabled me to get there but I am not doen yet. 220 is the unltimate goal but my next mini goal is 279. The last time I lost a lot of wieght, about 7 years ago, I got down to 279 and that has been the lowest I have been since college when I was a bicycle messenger in downtown Bellevue. I will keep you "posted" a long the way. Thank you all for your encouragement and your prayers.

It's Stuck!!!!!

Well, they warned me this would happen. I had a big meeting to attend the other night with the local area chaplains that I work with so before the meeting a few of us went out for dinner. I had to be at the meeting early so I ate a little to fast and ended up not chewing my meat good enough and it got stuck. The band around my stomach makes for a small hole for food to pass throught thuse making me feel full WAY faster. If you don't chew good enough food will get stuck and will not pass through. When your food gets stuck the ony thing you can do is suffer through it, burp a lot and hope it passes or, throw-up. Sometimes you don't have a choice, you throw-up which is what most people do. I have not had that experience until now and that is what I did, I threw-up. What made it worse was that it didn't happen until right when I started the meeting. I knew it was stuck, I was burping all the way to the meeting thinking, "I am going to puke any minute." I got the meeting, started to welcome everyone and it hit me, I wishpered "excuse me" and bolted out of the room. Lucky for me the bathroom was directly across the hall and empty. It was horrible, I hate throwing-up! Definatly a learning experience, a great reminder to CHEW MY FOOD!!!!
As far as breaking 100... Ounces, I mean ounces away. Three days ago, 288.7, two days ago, 288.5, yesterday, 288.2, today.... 288.0 aaaaaahhhhhhhh so close!!!!!! 287.3 will be my 100 puonds lost mark.

Almost to 100

3 more pounds to go and I will have lost 100 pounds. Wow, that is almost hard for me to even imagine. It is amazing how good I feel after shedding 97 pounds! I get asked all the time, "Do you have more energy?" "Do you feel lighter on your feet?" Shoot, that much weight is hard to imagine. Yes, I have more energy, I don't think I "feel" lighter on my feet but I do feel different. I walk up stairs and I am not winded, I teach for a few hours and my joints do not hurt from being on my feet for so long. It was a $15000.00 investment and do you know what the cool thing is? We put that on the credit card and we now owe $1000.00. God has been so faithful. I will let you know when I hit 100 and we can all celebrate together!!!

Biggest Loser Pose

Ok, If you have not looked I think you have to. Scroll down the page and on the right side are 4 pictures. One when I started at 387 pounds and the one that was taken tonight at 295 pounds, Wow, what a difference!!!! I have not posted the side view but wow, maybe I should, you can really see the difference. I go in for a band fill tomorrow so I will have an official from the doctors scale weight which I will post. Thanks for the support!!!

Eating Right

This still remains the biggest challenge, eating right. Not nutritionally, I think I am getting that one down, what I mean is how I eat and how much I eat. Last night I was eating a piece of chicken, about 1/2 way through I was starting to get a comfortable, not full but I could have stopped eating, but I didn't. Why? Because it was there. There was still food in front of me so I continued to eat it. After eating I was very full and wishing I would have stopped. So why didn't I? I don't know why, it was there so I ate it. I have to learn that it is ok to put my fork down and say, "enough". I will get there, it is just going to take some work. The other struggle I have is eating too fast. I am supposed to eat very slowly, chew my food really good. If I am not thinking about it I don't do it and I end up eating too fast and to much. Every time I eat I have to be able to sit down and consciously think to my self, sloooooowwww dowwwnnnn. So, that is my struggle at the moment. I did finally buy a new belt the other day. I kept adding holes as I am shrinking and the belt was really getting too long. It is a good problem to have!

Celebrate 299 Come On!!!

Yep, I did it!!!!!! I got on the scale this morning and opened my eyes and there it was 299.0. I really felt great, I mean shoot, I didn't thin that I was going to get there. I mean I knew I would but... just that feeling, I was discouraged. I noticed that when I get discouraged I want to eat and literally the thought of, "I can't do it so what difference does it make, go eat something" comes to my head. I pressed through and 299!!!!

The Wall called 300

Seriously, can you believe it??? 300 pounds and I hit a wall, not a plateau, oh no, this is a wall! I know I will break through it and will see the 290's very soon I just feel like I hit 300 bounce off, hit again, bounce off, aaaahhhhh...... I think this just makes the celebration of reaching my mini goal 0f 299 that much more better. I will keep you posted and we will celebrate very soon... I hope...

The Scale is Laughing at ME!!!!

First of all, this has been a very stressful week. Stress and weight lose do not go together. While I was on vacation I lost 5 pounds, I get home from vacation, go through a very stressful week and lose 2 pounds, oh joy. But that is not what this post is about, it is about the scale laughing at me this morning, that's right, LAUGHING. 299 is a mini-goal. This morning I get up, go into the bathroom, get on the scale and it was just like being on the biggest loser, I swear it, the scale reads 298.6, 301.1, and then stops at 300.0. I mean seriously, 300.0, not 300.1 or .4 but .0, come on!!!! It is not that I am unhappy about this, I am excited about it, I have lost like 87 pounds now but how often do you get on a scale that measures you by the point something and you get .0? Well, 300.0 it is which means that tomorrow... 299!

The Race to 299

I don't know if it is a race but I am watching the Biggest Loser and "Race" just made it sound cool. 299 is a goal, not THE goal, but a goal, a big one actually, and I am almost there.... I am a little afraid to weigh myself over the next couple of days. I am afraid that I won't get there as quick as I want. Getting on the scale and seeing 302, 303, 301, would be disappointing. It might sound silly to you but that is how I am feeling right now. I mean shoot, 299 would mean that I have lost something like 80 some pounds, that's a lot. Of course the official scale is at the Doctors office and I get my next fill on April 21 and I am pretty sure I will be under the 299 mark by then, I hope, with no plateau, I hope. Did I mention I was a little scared? So, the race to 299 is on and I will be VICTORIOUS!!!!!

home from Vacation...Another Month

We just got home from 5 days away and now wish we were still gone! You know when you leave all of the issues at home, go away for a week and come home, you hope your issues have disappeared, nope, there they are just waiting for you to pick up where you left off.... Vacations have a way of adding pounds. Your schedule is off, you eat out, or you munch because you are sitting around. I lost 5 pounds while we were gone!!! I am sure it had a lot to do with the hiking we did and watching my food intake. You don't have to gain weight on vacation and still have fun.
Now that March is over, I lost a total of 18.8 pounds which is still almost 7 pounds more then my monthly goal.

Dinner at a Restuarant

Last night we took Shayne and Tristain out for their birthdays, 18 and 25, amazing... Anyways, we went to Mizu, the Japanese Restaurant where they cook right there in front of you. Lisa and I shared a meal and to be honest I was not sure how it was going to go. Will I eat to much, not enough? It turned out great, the cook would put stuff on my plate and on Lisa's and I would then put stuff on Lisa's plate too. I ate enough and was satisfied, and Lisa had food left on her plate. It was our first venture out like that, kind of a trial run for next week when we are in Canada on vacation. Eating out, how will it work? It will work just great, and, this morning I dropped 3 pounds which means I am into the 300 single digits now, 308!

73 Pounds So Far

Well, today was my second fill. When they call your name to go back and see the doc the first thing you do is step on the scale... it can be a scary moment. You want the scale to show that you are reaching your goal, that you are doing things right and that the $15,000 you just spent was worth every penny. Well, here is where I am at to date. I tipped the doctors scale at 393 when I started this process and today it read 320, yep, 73 pounds! Wow. Over the last three weeks I have lost 13 pounds, my goal is to lose 12 pounds a month which means for this month I have already exceeded my goal. When you start eating food the weight lose is going to slow down and it will fluctuate as you try to figure out how much you can eat, what your calorie intake is and how much you are exercising. We figured that I am taking in between 1200 and 1300 calories a day. The doc told me today that my calorie intake can not be any lower then 1000 a day which means I am right about where I should be. Oh yeah, the docs scale and my scale at home say different things, it has to do with what I am wearing, or not wearing and the setting of the scale. So when my home scale says 313 and the docs scale says 320 it is saying the same thing. Thank you for you continued support and I sincerely hope that you are still going after a healthier life and losing weight with me.

Third Biggest Loser Pose

Tomorrow morning I get my second band fill and hopefully some questions answered. I am trying to figure out how many calories I should be eating per day? 4 to 5 small meals or 3? What about fat and carbs? When you have been lead by food for so long it is kind of nice to be leading food. Meaning that instead of hitting Jack in the Box because I feel like it I am planning my meals for the best nutritional value. Once I get that figured out I can then stop having to plan my meals, I can just live my life. I am getting there, I slow step at a time. And yes, scroll down to see the Third Biggest Loser pose, I know, I know, scary but I am seeing the difference. I walked into the doctors office at 383 and this morning I was at 313. :)

Just Another Day

Well, I think I am getting settled into somewhat of a routine. I know I not dropping weight like I was at first but that is to be expected and I am not disappointed about it, as long as my weight lose continues and I continue to eat right. It is a challenge to find a place to eat lunch. Yesterday I stopped at QFC and got a piece of baked chicken, took the skin off and had the meat. It certainly was not something to write home about but it worked. I was really running yesterday, I went from one thing to the next and by the time I had a moment to even stop and eat I was hunger. Deciding to stop at QFC and not Jack in the Box was a big thing for me. Because I am not doing bread there was really nothing for me to order and a fast food place anyways and no, I am not going to order something and take the bun off. Do you know how much fat and grease and stuff is in that processed meat??? Yuck. So I am figuring it out, a protein shake in the morning about 730, a boiled egg and a piece of celery with Laughing Cow Cheese on it around 10 to 1030, usually soup for lunch between 1230 and 130 and a protein drink around 430, dinner by 7. All small meals along with 30 min walk in the morning and 40 min cardio machine at the club in the evening, yep, just another day....

10 Stupid Ways We Mess Up Weight Loss

I wish i could take credit for this one but I can't. This is an artical that I found really helpful the last time I started losing wieght. i just re-read it and it's right on.

10 Stupid Ways We Mess Up Weight Loss

1. No Plan, Stan. You know the old saying, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Nothing could be truer than that when it comes to weight loss. Planning means you know what you’re going to eat, you’ve got what you need to eat and you know how to fix it. It’s not enough to simply fill your fridge with good stuff either (ever open your crisper to a drawer full of slime?).
2. “Just This Once.” This is what you say to yourself when you order a rich dessert in a restaurant or eat a huge serving of fettuccini alfredo and then find yourself spiraling out of control with your eating the next week. “Just this once” has often undone days or even weeks of “good behavior” and been the gateway to a full-on binge. The remedy? PLAN one meal a week of whatever you want, but pay attention to the portion size. As a precaution, if I order a hamburger with all the fixin’s, I cut it in half or order the petite version (a restaurant where I live will do that for you!) and order a huge salad to go with it to counter balance everything.
3. Complete Deprivation. The opposite of “just this once” is complete and utter deprivation. Saying never and meaning it. The problem is one of perfectionism and thinking that unless you’re faultless with your eating, you’re not “doing it” right. So when the slip up comes (and it will!) all good intentions are thrown out the window, and, once again, the spiraling out-of-control eating becomes the norm. A better idea is to plan that one meal a week that gives you a “vacation” from your diet (see number 2).
4. Not Enough! You started your own weight-loss diet and you’ve cut the calories way down there because you think this is going to jump start your weight loss, right? WRONG! You restrict your calories too much and you’ll end up slowing down your metabolism (your body will think you’re being starved) to the point of making weight loss impossible. To cure that problem, consider eating a number of small healthy meals a day. For me, the magic meal number was five: 3 meals a day, plus a snack between each meal. The bonus was my energy level soared and I was never hungry!
5. Too Much! If you’re not friendly with the term “portion control” now is your chance. Trying to lose weight without portion control is like flying a plane without air-traffic control. You gotta have that control! So when your cereal box tells you 1/2 cup equals 200 calories, then you MEASURE out that 1/2 cup till you can comfortably eyeball it in your bowl. Here’s a hint: always use the same bowl so you know what’s what. You can do that with everything till you’re comfortable and, trust me, it will make a huge difference! After I implemented this myself, I discovered I was eating THREE portions of cereal! No wonder I was having a hard time losing weight!
6. Quick Fix. The Quick Fix Mentality is a guarantee for low-level results. Oh sure, you might look great for your 20-year high school reunion, but 2 months after the big event you’ll have trouble getting back into that cute black dress you wore. The solution is to see that big event coming up as an opportunity to launch a new lifestyle and eating plan that will get you the results you want for life.
7. Diet Only. It takes more than a good diet to make the weight fall off. Exercise has a lot to do with how your body will take shape as you lose weight. Believe it or not, it doesn’t take as much effort as you might think. Just 30 minutes a day of aerobic activity are going to greatly impact your results. The bonus is you will handle stress far better when you exercise regularly.
8. Impatience. Yeah, I know. You want what the magazine promises: 10 pounds off in 3 days! Let me tell you something -- it ain’t gonna happen. Part of permanently losing weight is going with the process. We all want results now -- part of microwave mentality, I suppose -- but being in the process of weight loss is important. This process involves all of you: body, soul and mind. Learn to appreciate the little things (looser fitting clothes to start) and once the big stuff starts to happen, you’ll be ready and very appreciative!
9. Stress Eating. There you are, losing weight, exercising, doing the right thing. The weight is coming off, you’re feeling great, the world is starting to look pretty good to you. Then suddenly, your boss comes in and tells you your company has been downsized and you find yourself the owner of a brand new pink slip. You and few comrades head down to the local watering hole, order a few drinks and you start grazing on the peanuts. One of your friends orders nachos. Is this a “one-night stand” or the direction you’re going to take because stress has got you in a chokehold? These are important questions to verbalize to yourself. Stuff happens, but are you going to let go of everything because of it?
10. Self-sabotage. What’s with the cheese puffs in your grocery cart? You think that’s such a good idea? Why do you want to play with fire when you have proven over and over again (and your thighs will second that emotion) that you and a cheese puff shouldn’t be seen together in the same room? In other words, if you have a problem food, for heaven’s sake, don’t buy it thinking others in your family will be deprived or that you just need to control your portion. Nonsense! Skip the temptation and stick with the stuff you know will help you achieve your goals!

Another Plateau

Yep, dog gone it!!! I have been stuck at 318 for several days now. I hate plateau’s! I am closer to being able to do more than just walk, I can’t wait to play racquetball, ride my mountain bike, swim, weights. I think once I am able to work out I will see a drastic drop in weight again. It is good to change it up when you are exercising. This past week I was pretty busy in the mornings and was not able to walk right after I got up, I can really tell the difference. When I walk in the mornings I have more energy for the day and I feel good. So how are you doing? Are you walking, doing some type of exercise? Diet and exercise are really the key. I got a real kick out of a news report a few weeks ago about a diet break through. To lose weigh you need to exercise at least 5 times a day and control your portions, WOW, what a revelation!!! I wonder how much the government grant was for that study. I couldn’t do what I am doing without the band, it has been a tool to allow me to make the changes and it will be the tool that is going to help me maintain that weight lose so I never have to go back again. Well, those are my thoughts for the day, blessings. Hey, this is me about 5 years ago, see I have been there before but this time I am never going back!!!!

Figuring it all out

Thank you all for the great suggestions you have shared with me about portion size and control. It's tough, it really is but I think we are getting it all figured out. Tonight I had a perfectly portioned piece of fish, my first taste of avocado (and it was so good) and a half of boiled egg. Yum it was a great dinner. I realized something as I was just typing that last sentence, I talk about food, a lot. I know, there is balance and that is one of my struggles but I still find myself all morning thinking about what I am going to eat for lunch and all afternoon thinking about what Lisa is going to make for dinner. I find myself strategizing how to maximize the taste of my food with the amount I get to eat. It is amazing how this can control your thought process. I guess i am learning balance. I have to plan out my meals but I also don't want food to continue to be the marks of my day, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. humm maybe I need to find new marks, wake-up, walk, go to work, come home, work out, go to bed.... eat... oh ya, I probably should do that in there at some point.

AAAAHHHHHH to much food

I am finding that the hardest part of this new life style is getting my head wrapped around the fact that just a little food is enough to fill me up. I ate more then I should have again tonight. Not enough to make me sick but enough to say, "wow, I am really full." As I am loading my plate, or watching it be loaded, I keep putting to much on it. I think that food is still really important to me and that is something that I have to break. My attitude has to be, "who cares if it is a little or a lot" or, "who cares if there is still food on the plate". I am still losing weight which is really cool but the attitude of food and needing it, wanting it is still there. I guess that is how it is with any addiction, the key is to realize that it is there and then stand strong. Tonight I am realizing that over the last few days some of those "food attitudes" are creeping back up. I even had the thought that I could stop and get a taco on my way to Clark's to watch 24. I am not going to but I had that thought, I don't want that thought. Confession is good for the soul. Temptation is not the the sin, the acting out of the temptation is where the trouble begins but the more you dwell on the temptation the more you are likely to act on it, so you get it out in the open and deal with it. Tomorrow night I will be putting a little bit less on my plate!

My First Meal

Tonight I ate my first meal......... Fish, yep, it was cod and it was so good..... (dreamy stare off into the night sky) It was a little odd I have to admit. I ate this little bitty piece of fish and I was totally satisfied, I was not full, I was just fine but my head kept telling me that I should eat more. I just couldn't get my mind around how I could be satisfied by this little bitty piece of fish, it was weird. I think it is going to take a little bit to get used to but that's ok, it's cool.

My First Fill (After)

Well, I am happy to say that there was no caulking gun but it was a big @#&^%$ needle!!! I hate needles. I had to lay on the bed, put my hands over my head and I CLOSED my eyes. I have to say that there was just a little prick for the numbing needle and I never felt anything else THANK GOD. I survived the ordeal and have to go back in 3 weeks to see how things are going. I get to start eating tomorrow, the big question, "What am I going to eat?" Honestly, I have no idea but I will blog about it tomorrow night. Official weight lose to date, from my Jan 19th Doctor appointment to my first fill on March 2nd.... 60 pounds!!!

My First Fill (Before)

The lap band is adjustable and even reversible. There is a "pillow" around the inside of the band that can be "filled" or "emptied" to adjust for food intake and weight lose. I have a port just under the skin that the doctor uses to inject silicone into the band. Right now the band is opened all the way so tomorrow I get a fill which will restrict the amount of food I can eat (starting Wed!!!). I don't know what to expect so I have a little apprehension but I know I will be ok. I think it is the needle they use that has me the most concerned, yeah I am a wimp when it comes to needles and I have this picture in my mind of this needle that they must use. When I use silicone it is coming out of a big tube in a caulking gun. I can just picture the doctor standing over me with this evil grin holding a caulking gun, "Are you ready for your fill..." Oh boy..

Pizza, oh Pepperoni Pizza....

This has been a really busy week which is why I have not blogged in a few days, sorry about that. Actually the last few days have been great, busy, but great. Even the over powering smell of pepperoni pizza, as good as it smelled, didn't make me want to go back. I am looking forward to the new challenges that are ahead of me. I know when I start eating my weight lose will change and that's ok. My goal is to lose 12 pounds a month. In the past 39 days I have lost 53 pounds, that's a little more then a pound a day so I think 12 pounds a month should not be a problem. I am looking forward to it. Today I was walking through REI just dreaming about the sports and activities I will be able to do. I can't wait to do some climbing, I can't wait to go biking. A whole new world is about to open up for me...

Lisa laughed at me today

Can you believe it!!!! Ha ha, I was coming out of the bathroom smiling because I lost almost 2 pounds from yesterday and she says with this big smirk, "I thought you were only going to weigh yourself every three or four days? You have been on that scale everyday!" Ah shoot, I guess I have and I did say that I was only going to weigh every three or four days but dang, that's hard. I was on the dreaded plateau and I just wanted to see it break. I made it for awhile just weighing every couple of days because it was so discouraging to see no movement on the scale but now, well, now it's exciting again! So I deserved to be laughed at and it was a good thing because hey, I lost another 2 pounds which means I am down 51 pounds since I started my liquid diet/fast Jan 20th, right on!

Learning Curve

I am a week out from being able to eat again and last night I had a "test" run. Now, I am not the type who has to make everyone around me suffer because of what I am going through. I am on a liquid diet but that does not mean that I can't enjoy the time I have with friends when there is food involved. Honestly, having someone eat food while I am sitting there drinking soup broth doesn't bother me. So, last night Lisa and I went to dinner with another couple that I hope we become really close friends with. Where did we go? To the restaurant that is the epitome of portion control, Claim Jumpers! I ordered a cup of chicken tortia soup, broth only. It was thick and it was yummy. As I was eating I realized that I was about half way done with the cup and I was not filling full. "That was odd" I thought, "I should be filling full" and as I sat there thinking about it I realized that I had been so involved with the conversation that I was eating to fast. Any food addict knows that if you want to eat a lot of something that taste good you eat fast because you can get more in before your stuffed, that's how I normally ate. Sitting at the table I made a decision, I wasn't going to eat anymore and boy let me tell you, I am glad I did. I put my napkin over the cup and pushed it away and about 2 minutes later it hit me, I was stuffed, seriously full. Lisa and I talked about it on the way home. I am going to have to really think about how I am eating when I am eating in able to form new eating habits. With the band you have to chew your food really good or your food can get stuck, not good I am told. You have to eat slowly and make sure you don't eat to much. Last night was a great reminder for me that I have a large learning curve ahead and that I still have some major changes to make. One last note, I finally broke 330!!! I hit the scale at 329 this morning, it's going to be a good day!

Driving my Addiction

I have been on this liquid diet for 4 and 1/2 weeks now, I am looking forward to being able to chew!!! A lot has changed for me which was desperately needed if I am going to be successful in not only my weight lose but in maintaining that weight lose. At first when I would think about eating only 4 to 6 ounces it was hard to imagine, I mean shoot, that's nothing. I used to be able to put away two chicken breasts and whatever else was offered. Now, when I can start eating again, I will flatten out one chicken breast, cook it on the George Foreman and that will be at least 4, maybe 5 meals. Wow, that's not much. But with the new way of thinking about food, who cares, I don't need two chicken breasts. I only need what is necessary to fuel my body. I don't have to have food anymore. It is a very freeing experience when you look at it that way. When I would go to a party or a function, there was always food. I didn't just get some of it, I got a lot of it, a few plates at least and then excuses to travel by the food table to get more. I don't have to do that any more. My addiction was driving me, now, I am driving my addiction. Every morning I get up and ask God to continue this change that is taking place inside of me. Every morning I thank Him that He is working in me and releasing me in this new freedom. God never said life would be easy and He never promised me tomorrow. Jesus said not to worry about tomorrow because today has enough problems of it's own! So true. No, tomorrow is not guaranteed but what He did promise, is that He would be there with me every step of the way.

Look Only If You Want

The thing about this blog, I have had to be pretty honest. You see, I teach people how to deal with bad images in their minds because of what they see in their job. Believe me, we see some pretty bad stuff. Now, if you decide to look, I am going to subject you to “some pretty bad stuff”. So if you want to see my newest Biggest Loser Pose scroll down and look under the Daily Weight Lose Chart.

The Dreaded Plateau

I know that looking at the daily weight lose section it shows that I have lost 3 pounds in the last 5 days. That is good and for sure nothing to complain about but I have to be honest, I am frustrated. I am not sure if it should be aimed toward my scale or at me. I few days ago the scale said 336 and then 333 and then 335 and then today 333.8, I hit… The Plateau… it’s a dreaded word in the weight lose world. That time period where you are tested in your resolve to lose weight. There have been many times over the years where I would hit this place and give in after a few days because I was frustrated. Losing weight is like a rush, you get excited, working out becomes easier, what your eating becomes acceptable and the scale keeps moving and then… The Plateau… I hate the plateau!!! Well, I am here… The Plateau… I have been feeling more and more frustrated. Suddenly the thought of two more weeks of liquid diet is dreadful. I really want to be able to eat something. But I can’t, I won’t. My resolve is being tested and I just simply am not going to give in. It’s hard but I have enough experiences with plateau’s to know that they will eventually break. It has been fun throwing my 4XL shirts into the Goodwill Pile because they are too big for me. It has been fun being able to walk longer and not get winded, to go snowshoeing. To hear the incredible encouraging comments from those of you who are reading my blog. Frustrated? Yes, but I still can’t wait for the after picture of holding up my size 56 pants.

More Small Victories

Today I went snowshoeing and it was awesome. Walking through the forest with a light snow falling. Up hills and down hills and I did great. All the walking I have been doing sure helped but so did losing the 40 some pounds I have lost. I put my winter jacket on that I have not worn in a really long time and it zipped up. So cool. I know it sounds silly but being able to wear clothes you have not worn in forever sure makes you feel good.

Check me out in my suit!

Check me out in my suit! A couple of years ago I did Isagenix and lost about 60 pounds. Hit Thanksgiving and I could never regain the weight loss momentum again. I started eating like I used to eat and it just got worse. I gained the 60 pounds back and added another 20 or so just for the heck of it. That is what happens with diets. We lose it and gain it, try another diet, we lose it and gain it and on and on. I don’t know about you but I have done a lot of diets and a lot of them worked, but, and it’s a big one, all the weight just comes back because we don’t change our minds set about food. The addiction is still there, a little self discipline, and then a little slip, an excuse, other slip, and it is all downhill from there. The reality of what I am doing is that the lap band is another diet. People who have had the surgery have failed the diet and are right back where they started. There has to be a changing of the mind, the addiction has to be broken. I am learning to be flexible, making changes to my thought process based on the scripture about not being mastered by anything. I was weighing myself every morning. I started finding myself being driven by what the scale would say every day. I was going to bed each night with one thought, “What will I weigh tomorrow?” So I have made a change, I am only going to weigh myself every three days or so. I know it sounds silly, but to me it’s significant. And then it is the little victories, like my suit. The last time I buttoned that jacket was… well, let’s just say that it has been a long time. Same goes for the shirt I am wearing, it has been hanging in my closet for a really long time. I like these little victories. Oh yeah Lisa took this picture tonight after a wedding I did.

I WANT TO NIBBLE!!!!!

It is 8:52, I am watching TV and I want to nibble. It’s an old habit of mine, eat something after everyone goes to bed as I watch TV. Potato chips, peanut butter and marsh mellows, just a big spoon of peanut butter, oh and my favorite, Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal. All of this is a part of the addictive eating. I didn’t want to eat but hey, it’s ok, just a few chips, just one bowl of cereal… maybe two. I am so glad that this is not me anymore. But tonight, sitting here watching TV, I want to eat. Lucky for me, I have you. Instead of getting up and getting something to eat, I grab my laptop and talk about my battle. And it is a battle. I have more energy than before, I feel like the freakin’ Energizer Bunny! I am feeling good but in my mind I am going through something like with-drawls, I am cranky and a little sharp edged in my attitude. I am sure you will understand when I say that sometimes it is the people we are closest to and love the most that we let our guard down with. So tonight, I am watching TV and talking to you, processing my thoughts and struggles and I am NOT nibbling!

Busy, Busy, Busy...

The last couple of days have been just a tad bit busy to say the least. My post-op meeting at the doctors office went well and I have to go in in 3 weeks for my first "fill". The lap band is adjustable and right now it is set of the most open setting. There is a port just under the skin that allows the doc access to the band. They can make the band smaller by adding an injection of silicon or they can take silicon out to make the band bigger. It takes a few months to figure out where I am the most comfortable. But for right now I have 3 more weeks of liquid diet. For the last week it has been all water and broth now I have to add protein drinks to my menu. I have to have at least 90 grams of protein a day which is 3 30 gram protein drinks but here is the problem. I made a protein drink for breakfast that had about 20 grams of protein in it using 6 ounces of soy milk. I could barley finish it! The nurse said to take the week to work my way up to 90 grams a day, ya, it will take the week to do that for sure!!! Last night I was out on a call for work so I didn't get a chance to eat (drink) my protein but guess what? I wasn't hungry. On the way home I found myself thinking about food but this time it was different. My thoughts were, "Hey, I should be hungry but I am not, how cool is that!" Knowing I should have some protein I went ahead and opened a 12 ounce thing of pre-made protein drink, I got about half of it down and was done. 90 grams in one day????? Oh boy, I never thought I would see the day that I complained about having to eat food. Hey did I mention I can tie my left shoe now???!!!

My Water Challenge

Tomorrow is my post-op appointment with the surgeon and the day I can start having protein drinks again. This afternoon I was craving protein but all I could have was water, wow, it’s a good thing water is a renewable resource! It is so good for you. I am drinking a minimum of 64 ounces a day. How much are you drinking a day? This is from betterhealthway.com, “Water is a natural appetite suppressant, so developing a good water drinking habit can be a long-term aid in achieving and maintaining a healthy weight. Doctor F. Batmanghelidj MD, author of "Your Body's Many Cries For Water" says most times your “hunger” is your body asking for water – not food. It's also important to remember that when the body is dehydrated, fat cells get "rubbery" and cannot be easily metabolized. This means that it's harder to lose when you don't drink your water.” Also check out http://www.thedietchannel.com/Top-4-Benefits-of-Drinking-Water.htm
So here is my challenge to you. Can you drink as much water per day as I am drinking? Coffee doesn’t count.

Water, pure water. I picked this up at FredMyers the other day for a couple of bucks and it works great. It holds 32 ounces and is easy to pack around. Come on, no excuses. I am drinking 64 – 80 ounces a day, I dare you, keep up with me. And just in case you’re wondering, it works.

Hey, does my face look skinnier to you? 37 pounds in 3 weeks

How Am I Doing???

Amazing well... I think. I have never been here before. I can tell you this, this is different. I want to share my struggles but really, right now, I am not struggling. I am getting used to the new eating. Four ounces of soup broth and I am FULL. Starting Tuesday I get to start protein drinks. If four ounces of soup broth fills you up what is a 12 ounce protein drink going to do. I will never eat regular food at this rate, and I am ok with that. Watching the scale numbers show lower and lower every day is actually exciting and each day gets even more exciting. And now the worry sets in. How long until I plateau? When will the cravings kick in? How soon before I get bored of chicken broth? But then I think, “Who cares” food is not what it used to be to me. I am no longer ruled by food. Getting bored with what I am eating, well in five weeks I can eat whatever. Wait! whatever I want? Everything is permissible but not everything beneficial. Food for the stomach and stomach for food, I will not be ruled by anything. The fact is, I can eat anything I want. The reality is I am only going to eat what is necessary whenever necessary because I am not driven by what I eat.
I am not the same person I used to be in this aspect of my life and I think that is why I am struggling. I think I should be thinking a certain way and I am not thinking that way and it is weirding me out. So onward I go, the new Pat and I like him!

Are you Walking???

So many people think that they have to join a gym and hit the cardio machines in order to lose weight. All of that is good and hey, why not... It takes time, money and effort. Not the "work out" effort but the "I have to drive there" and "I have to change my cloths" effort. Gyms are breading grounds for excuses. Ok, so, don't go to the gym. Get up 30 min's early and walk around your neighborhood. You don't have to speed walk and you don't have to run, just walk. Put on some worship in your I-Pod or MP3 player, talk to God, you will feel invigorated. "But wait", you say, "get up 30 min's early. Yeah right!!!" Seriously, do you want to lose the weight? Because if you do 30 min's is just 30 min's and you will feel better after walking for a half an hour then if you slept that half an hour so stop whining! A lot of people get dressed up to go to work, a uniform, business attire, whatever, and I am willing to bet at some point after you get home you change. Go for another walk after you change. Who cares if you are wearing jeans or sweats, your just walking. Yesterday Lisa drove me into my office for a little while so I could get out of the house. After we got home, I went for a walk. I was wearing khakis and a shirt, I put on a jacket because it was raining and off I went around the neighborhood. When you walk, you are not trying to work up a sweat you just want to elevate your heart rate. You don't have to dress up or down to walk. So get out there, at least once a day, but if you can twice a day and lets walk!

I can’t tie my left shoe!!!

Serious, I can tie my right shoe but I can’t tie the left one. Even though I am doing great I feel like I have been in a knife fight. I have seven incisions across my upper belly that have to heal so I have been learning my range of motion, I can bend to the right but not to the left. I think we take for granted just how much we use our abdominal muscles. This has been an amazing journey so far, physically, mentally and spiritually. Those of you who know me know that I am a man of faith and I want to share all the different ways I have seen God working in the circumstances. I want you to see how your prayers have been answered. So here we go;
1. I started a liquid diet two weeks before the surgery and only once did I struggle with hunger and the one time I did showed me just how much my emotions are tied to my eating.
2. The surgery was scheduled for an 11:30 AM check in time with surgery happening at about 1:30 PM. It was my only anxiety, I had been using the protein drink and water to help curve the appetite. You can have nothing to drink at all after mid-night the night before. I was worried I was going to get hungry. The day before surgery the doctors office called and asked if I wouldn’t mind changing my check-in time to 5:30 AM with the surgery happening at about 7:30.
3. Every procedure done at the hospital, from the EDG the surgery and recover had a nurse who was the wife or sister of people I work with in Kent and Maple Valley. This meant that I was more than just a patient I was family. One of these nurses came up to my room latter and told me that my surgery was absolutely text book perfect.
4. I hate needles!!! They had to reset my IV after surgery. They couldn’t find a vein, it took three nurses who tried two times each, another nurse who decided I had been poked enough, couldn’t find a vein and didn’t try (Thank God!!!). A doctor had to come in and put it in. They called me the human pin cushion. The miracle in all of this, I was totally cool with and had fun teasing the nurses as they poked me full of holes.
5. The nurse came in and said it was time for my pain medication. I asked if I had to take it because I didn’t have any pain. She didn’t believe me at first but I will say I have not yet taken any pain meds because I have not had any pain.
6. I was supposed to be released from the hospital sometime in the morning the next day. They discharged me that night, 12 to 14 hours early because I was recovering so well.
There is a lot more but this is getting long so I am going to do a part two tomorrow.

The Day After

The day after surgery and the reality of the change is hitting me. Before the surgery I would have a protein shake for breakfast and lunch and a can of chicken broth for dinner. After the surgery I cannot have the protein shake until next week so the band can settle but I can have broth. It took the entire day to get through a whole can! I drank the first few ounces and I was full, I mean full like I ate too much, it was a strange feeling. I actually didn’t finish the first little bit that was in my cup. And do you know what the cool thing was? I was ok with it. In fact I went all day today and thought very little about food and it wasn’t because I was super busy. I walked the neighborhood loop 4 times, watched TV and watched Lisa clean the kitchen pantry (I would have helped but I can’t lift anything over 5 lbs because of the incisions). It was actually fun having Lisa ask me to have something besides water. “Do you want your broth yet?” And my answer was, “Nah, I am really not hungry.” Now that is change!
I got to come home early, I have not had any pain, and I am feeling very good. My incisions are a little sore but that is to be expected. I have received the greatest e-mails, blog comments, and phone calls from so many people. The support means the world to me. But what means even more is that so many of the comments involved people telling me that they are being inspired to change their lives. So come on, let’s do this together!!!

Morning of the 4th

I just got back from my walk and I am feeling really good. The discomfort I was feeling from surgery is gone and now I am learning my rang of motion. If I bend to far one way or the other my incisions let me know, ouch! If you scroll down the page I added some photos from the day. I will continue to up-date you on the weight lose and how I am changing my thought process about food and how, when, and why I would eat. All of your words of encouragement, your thoughts and your prayers have made all the difference in the world. THANK YOU

Yeah!!!! I am Home!!!!!

I am home!!!!!! Yep, the Doctor let me go 12 hours early. The surgery was “text book” according to the nurse, who, by the way is the wife of one of my Maple Valley Firefighters. I was in my room about 10 and then was up walking by 1030. I was supposed to walk around every hour but I decided that I was going to bother the nurses more than they could bother me so every 30 min’s I was ringing the call bell so they could unhook me and I walked and walked and walked. I was also supposed to drink water out of little cups so I drank and I drank and then I was supposed to pee, that was not a problem. At one point the nurse told me to “Stop acting like I didn’t have surgery!” The nurse wanted to give me Vicaden but I didn’t have any pain so I didn’t take it. The Doctor came in and found out I was doing exceptionally well and told me to go home. Lisa and I were pretty happy! So I am home and doing very well.

post surgery, thankyou for your prayers.

hi everyone, this is Lisa and Im posting for pat. He's such a goof, he wakes up and asks me to post for him, and I'm not as good at it as he is, so forgive the spelling and such. so from Pat, surgery went well, still a little groogy thankyou for your prayers, right now I feel really good. still need to change the way I think. as I was wheeled from the surgery room I vagley recall asking Lisa for a piece of prime rib. It was ment as a joke but it still reflect inward thinking. So now as phase 2 of this journey starts umm theres still lots of work to do. so for now hand me another cup of water!!

Surgery is Today

My Surgery is today, it's 4:35 in the morning and we will be leaving in about 25 min's. Am I nervous? I wasn't last night but I think now I am. :) I think it is natural to be a little nervous when you are going to be put to sleep, cut open (even laparoscopicly) and have something placed inside of you. Thoughts of the Borg from Star Trek and the creature coming out of the guys chest in Aliens come to mind. I am sure you can think of a few other things. But really, it's all good, this is a journey where there is no turning back from, no way, no how. I feel like I am about to get on a wild roller coaster. There is the fear and excitement all at the same time as you have waited in that long line and now you are just entering the loading area. You can see the cars, hear the reactions of the people getting off and getting on. In the distance you hear the screams of those already on the track as it swooshes by.... Yeah, that's how I feel right now and I think that contributed to the 1 pound weight gain that I am showing this morning. Well, wish me luck....

Surgery Tomorrow!!!

My final blog before the surgery, am I nervous? Actually no, I’m not, I am excited, not for the surgery but for what it represents in my life. The Lap band is not a magic pill, just getting it is not going to end of my weight problems. There is still work to do and if I don’t eat right and take my vitamins then I will end up right back where I started, way over weight, diabetes and sleep apnea. No thank you!!! Over the last two weeks I have come a long way in changing how I think about food and how I eat but the real challenge is yet to come. You see, right now I can’t eat and I know that in 10 weeks, I can eat. I can’t eat much, just a couple of ounces at a time but the point is this. When I get to this place where I can eat is when I will once again be tempted and will have to deal with my cravings. So, right now is critical, what I am learning about food, my emotions, how, why, and when I eat, all of it counts right now. I know you have heard it before but my choices today influence my actions of tomorrow. That goes for all of our choices in all of our lives. One of the things I have learned in my job is that life is to short and I am done wasting it on bad choices that destroy my future.

A quick note about my surgery. I check into the hospital at 5:30 in the morning and the surgery should start around 9:30, it's a 45 to 90 minute procedure. I am supposed to be in overnight for observation. I have to do a lot of walking and different things. If you really feel you need to come say hi I won’t say no but please only come if you feel that it is something you are supposed to do. I appreciate the support you have all given me and I am going to need that support more than ever in the months to come. What a journey and I am so glad you are walking it with me. I will blog when I wake up, I will still be medicated so you can't hold me responsible for anything I might say!!!

Ready for Food

Lisa and I were walking through Fred Myers today picking up a few things we needed and suddenly I was ready for food. It was kind of an odd feeling and I was not sure what to do with it. Then I started thinking that I have to be on this liquid diet/fast for another 30 days and I started to get depressed. This was one of those challenge days, a conflict going on between my ears. One part of me saying “Time for food!” and the other part of me saying “Not for a few more weeks.” AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!! As this battle of the mind was taking place I had to start applying some of those strategies for taking control of my thoughts. What is the goal? To lose weight and beat the addiction. How am I going to get there? Lap Band surgery in two days. I can’t quite now! So I sucked it up, grabbed a bottle of water and started drinking it. As long as I paid for it before I left the store right??? (I did) So the moral of the day is this, you don’t have to give in to those cravings and thoughts for food. Who is in control? I am, and my desire for the outcome of this journey is greater than my “need” to EAT.

No More Darkness

I changed the looks of my blog as you can well see. I did it for a reason. Something in me is changing, not just physically but also spiritually. I am not saying that what was inside of me was dark, but when I looked at the dark color of my blog it suddenly felt ... well, repressive. I am on a journey of freedom, freedom from addiction. Addiction is a physical issue that has deep spiritual roots. The Bible says that in Christ there is no darkness. The darkness of my blog needed to change to reflect that very thing.
I had an awesome day today. I walk 5.8 miles with a lot of ups and downs. My great friend Tim and I went out Geacaching (http://www.geocaching.com/). As we huffed and puffed up and down the trails all I could think about was what this was going to be like 150 pounds lighter!!! I can't wait.

Food and Emotions

I am an emotional eater. Emotions are the force behind what we feel. First we have the thought or perception of a situation, then emotion follows as an expression of what is being internalized. If I feel sad my emotions can range from facial expressions, such as a frown, to crying. If I feel happy my emotions can range from a facial expression, such as a smile, to crying. It is our emotions that allow us to create. So emotion is a verb, it is the action of what is being felt inside. All of us have a base line that we call normal. It is different for each of us but this base line is where we are at emotionally at any given time when we feel whatever normal is for you. Throughout our day we will emotionally move around this baseline depending upon what it is that we are internalizing about our perception of the situation. The higher the anxiety we feel, the more expressive our emotions can become. Somehow, for some of us, there is a link between our emotional reaction and hunger, the feeling that I need food. I know that there is a reason that they call it “comfort” food. When I am in a high state of emotion I become very hunger and the craving is for something high in fat and calories, a cheeseburger fits the bill perfectly. Yesterday something happened to me that cause a high state of anxiety and emotional sadness. It was the very first time since I started fasting that I was truly hungry. So much so that I had to go into the garage away from everyone to gain control of this experience. I know I could not eat, I would not eat, but “Oh my GOD!” and not the expression, that was a prayer! I am not sure what the answer is and I would like to hear your thoughts about this. As I perceived through the hunger, drank water, and utilized some of the stress management techniques I teach my firefighters and police officers I was able bring myself around. But it was so hard, I want to eat so I could feel better. So tell me what you think, if you do this, what have you done to deal with it? Let’s see if we can help each other out.

Spiritual Encounters

Ok, today was a… good day, strange day, exciting day... I am sure that those of you reading this know that I am a man of faith and so if there are some things I talk about that seem religious or weird, it’s ok, keep reading and believe that I truly have your and my best interest in mind. Today I started walking in the spiritual warfare that I knew would be coming. My eyes are being opened to the spiritual side of the addiction that I am facing. This morning, during my morning walk I had a spiritual encounter. It was powerful and not positive. I knew at that moment I was walking into a spiritual fight. At that same time Lisa was in the room starting to get ready for work and suddenly felt the need to pray. Last night our good friend Marlena had a spiritual vision of this encounter and was praying for me. Tonight during the home group meeting Lisa and I go to, Eileen told me that she felt to pray specifically today. Ok, way too much coincidence to be a coincidence, something’s going on here. It is interesting that the day after I post a scripture about the aspect of spiritual warfare it starts. In the Bible there are many stories of battles. In a few of those stories God won the battle for the army without them even having to go out to the battle field. But, in most of those battles, even when God said that the army would win, they still had to go out on the battle field and fight. God has given me a promise through His word that I would not be ruled by the addiction of food. But I am still going to have to get out on the battle field. The battle for my mind, which I talked about last night, that battle is raging. I have to take every thought captive and make it obedient to the Word of God. I have been doing that all day and I will be doing that for a lot of days to come. Today, I started facing the battle of impulsiveness. Much of my food habit comes from impulsive behavior. I think it, I want it, I get, just like that. That has to change. I am doing a fast called by my doctor, it is a medical fast. During this fast the doctor is going to go in me and change my insides, my digestive system. I need this fast to be a spiritual fast so that the Holy Spirit can going in me and change what the doctor can’t touch, my mental and spiritual capacity and thought process. And so that is what this is all about, that is why this is a spiritual fast as well as a medical fast. And so I will continue to wield the Sword of the Spirit, the Word of God. Hebrews 4:12 and 13 “For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” I think that scripture speaks for itself.

Thoughts of Food

I was driving to the Washington State Criminal Justice Training Commission where I was going to be teaching a class to the Correctional Officers Academy and guess what I found myself thinking about? If you said food, you’re right on. I haven’t eaten anything but protein drinks, chicken broth, sugar free Jell-o, and water in 8 days and I am driving along thinking about what I am going to eat for dinner. What??? It was really weird. I was literally thinking about eating dinner and then I realized just how often and much I think about food. It’s all the time and I didn’t realize it until today, well, became aware of it and wow, it’s a lot. This is one of the behaviors that I am praying will be broken. I don’t want to be ruled by food and yet I am. I am so overwhelmed by the support I have received by those of you reading my blog, thank you. I want you to know that I could not do this without you. Dan and Malinda shared this verse with me. Matthew 4:4 Jesus answered, "It is written: "Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God." This is what I want and I know that the only way my mind will be changed is by the Word of God. So no more thinking of food, 2 Corinthians 10:4 and 5 ”The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
For those of you who are believers, when you say a prayer for me today, would you be bold enough to write it for me and either put it up as a comment or e-mail it to me. And then stop for a moment and write whatever comes to your heart. If you have a scripture that gets you through the tough times, I would love to hear it. You see your faith, together with my faith, together with the word of God will break not only the strongholds in my life, but whatever they may be in your life as well. To God be all the glory, honor, and praise!

Defeating the Addiction to Food

Philippians 4:13 says “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Addiction, whether it be to drugs, alcohol, risky behaviors, nicotine, caffeine, or food, yes you can be addicted to food but I will explain that in a minute. Any addiction can be broken, sometimes it takes some real psychological work with a professional, some people have even done it on their own, but no matter what an addiction can only be broken by the changing of your mind. We don’t see food as an addiction, some people don’t struggle with it but I am seeing more and more that for me, food is an addiction. How do know you’re addicted? Cravings, withdrawals, behavioral changes, being controlled by the substance of the addiction. Look at your behaviors as I look at mine. Cravings. Absolutely, I craved Jack in the Box, Spicy Chicken Sandwich, 2 Tacos and a small Coke, and hey why not add in a large Spicy Bites. Did I need that? No, did I want that? YES, so I would go get it. Lunch time, dinner time, sometimes, but rarely. Cravings do not wait for the “appropriate” time. Withdrawals. Let me ask, “Lisa, do I get cranky when I am hungry?” “YES” she says, “you get unreasonably mean.” Anyone have questions about that? Behavioral changes. I have to buy new shirts and pants because my clothes are getting two small. “What, I have sleep apnea?” “Diabetes….” Yep, High blood pleasure, heart disease… I could go on. Control. Yes, a nibble here, a nibble there. I might get busy tonight and not get a chance to eat at dinner time so I had better stop at Taco Time. A Fish Taco and a Crispy Chicken Barito. Did I mention that the Fish Taco meal comes with Mexi Fries and a Coke? Of course I had time for dinner tonight and I don’t want anyone to think I was eating out so I would have to eat at dinner time too. Did I mention that there is a lot of secretive behavior with addiction? Well, there it was. Rationalization, “I will do this just this once”, “I already blew it today so it doesn’t matter if I blow it again.” Or my favorite, “I will start eating right on Monday”.
It says in the Bible, 1 Corinthians 6:12 and 13. "Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything. "Food for the stomach and the stomach for food"—but God will destroy them both.” So what does that mean? Well, there is nothing wrong with eating food, it is permissible but no always beneficial. “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food.” I truly believe that the Bible is speaking directly to the addiction to food. Paul says, “I will not be mastered”, he says that God will destroy the addiction. This 36 day liquid diet is so much more than a diet. It is a God called, Holy Spirit directed fast so that God can destroy the addiction in me.

Week 1

I weighed myself Tuesday morning last week at 379, this morning, 1 week later, 363. I have lost 16 pounds!!!!

Breaking Habits

This is certainly a learning process! It order to be successful I have to change how I think about food, totally change. One of my bad habits that brought me to this point was the eating at night while watching TV. We are talking 10 to 12 o'clock at night, late. Last night I was watching TV, 10 PM and I decided to finish off the bowl of sugar free Jell-o. I am allowed sugar free Jell-o, my rational was “I can eat it”, so I did. One of the things that I am trying to accomplish in the next 5 weeks is breaking these bad habits. Eating because I want to, when I want to, whatever I want to. I was eating late night just because. As Lisa and I talked she said you can’t break a habit by changing the contents of the habit. I still ate late, bad habit, but I had replaced the contents of the habit and rationalized that it was ok. It is not. A bad habit has to be reframed in my mind, so, no eating late at night, period. I can do it!!!
I gained a half of a pound. Why? We think it is the amount of sodium I used in the chicken broth I ate, sodium makes you retain water and I unknowingly used a lot. I am not discouraged, I am encouraged because I am learning.

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups

I was walking through Safeway today with Lisa, we had some shopping to do. The middle isle end cape holds the candy bars and right there, eye level was my favorite, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. I looked at those wonderful orange packages and it made me reflect on the change I am making in my life. Just a week or so ago I would have not thought twice about getting a package of them, the King Size of course, and enjoying them before I got home. I am seeing more and more how my desire has ruled my life and brought me to this place. Walking past that candy stand actually gave me the feeling of empowerment I didn’t have to take a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. It has never been about need, it is about want. I don’t have to “want” food. I need food just like we all do but we don’t have to want food. Thank you Lord for Your freedom!!!

Saturday Night

I want fast food. I am not hungry but I really just WANT to go eat fast food. As of this writing I did not give in. Lisa goes to Northwest Open Doors for church on Saturday night, Shayne and Ashley ordered pizza and there it sat on the counter, man I wanted to take a bit. I didn't. Sure I am proud of myself and I know that this is a battle I will have to fight and i can do it! I can't wait to see what the scale will say tomorrow morning.

Journey to Freedom

I started my liquid diet on Tuesday Jan. 20th. My surgery is Feb. 3rd. For two weeks all I can have is clear liquids, protein shakes and sugar free jell-o. My starting weight, 391. Here is how the week has gone. Monday night the 19th, I went out to dinner with my great friend Tim, my "Last Super". I had shrimp, an 18 oz steak, a baked potato with as much butter, chives and bacon bits i could get on it. I washed it all done with two large beers and finished with an apple crisp and ice cream. I did this all on purpose, I know it would be my last BIG meal and I was going to enjoy every bit of it. I did. It has almost been a week and I have lost 13 pounds. It has been a challenge but I am drinking a ton of water, having my 2 protein drinks and jell-o. I walk every morning and go to the gym in the afternoon. Friday night when I was working out I started smelling BBQ. It was like someone was cooking a steak right there in the gym, it was intoxicating. It got worse, when I got into my car the BBQ followed, all the way home, into the garage and kitchen. It was hard!