The Fight: I WANT TO NIBBLE!!!!!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

I WANT TO NIBBLE!!!!!

It is 8:52, I am watching TV and I want to nibble. It’s an old habit of mine, eat something after everyone goes to bed as I watch TV. Potato chips, peanut butter and marsh mellows, just a big spoon of peanut butter, oh and my favorite, Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal. All of this is a part of the addictive eating. I didn’t want to eat but hey, it’s ok, just a few chips, just one bowl of cereal… maybe two. I am so glad that this is not me anymore. But tonight, sitting here watching TV, I want to eat. Lucky for me, I have you. Instead of getting up and getting something to eat, I grab my laptop and talk about my battle. And it is a battle. I have more energy than before, I feel like the freakin’ Energizer Bunny! I am feeling good but in my mind I am going through something like with-drawls, I am cranky and a little sharp edged in my attitude. I am sure you will understand when I say that sometimes it is the people we are closest to and love the most that we let our guard down with. So tonight, I am watching TV and talking to you, processing my thoughts and struggles and I am NOT nibbling!

4 comments:

AnonymousFebruary 13, 2009 at 9:31 AM
You're doing a great job Pat!! I love hearing your thoughts! It's so exciting to us to be able to be a part of your new life! :o)
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AnonymousFebruary 13, 2009 at 12:15 PM
You can do it Pat!
Aunt Judy
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Sharon Ellis (Mom)February 13, 2009 at 3:51 PM
I think we all want to eat something while watching TV, even when we are full from a big meal. You conquered and won that battle last night. Way to go!!!
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CesiFebruary 13, 2009 at 7:23 PM
Hi Pat,
You are such an inspiration! I have been back-sliding on my eating (I'm diabetic) and really need to get back on track. You have inspired me. So proud of you!
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Your encouraging words mean the world to me. Thank you for sharing your heart. ~ Pat

My Story

Here is what I have come to finally admit, I am addicted to food. I am starting this journey weighing more then I ever had before, 391. Yep three hundred and ninty one pounds. You can check out my best Biggest Loser pose in the pictures. I alway knew I was big but like some people who look in the mirror and say, "I am fat." I can look in the mirror and not see how big I really am. I have dieted off and on so many time. I have lost 50 pounds, 60 pounds, 80 pounds, 30 and 40 pounds and just like most everyone I gained it all back and more. For the last year or so with the help of my wife Lisa, I have been considering getting the lap band surgery. I remember the free seminar we went to, "No way!". Surgery was to drastic and not for me. But I was challenged about my weight and lost 70 pounds with Isagenix. I gained 80 or so back. A couple of months ago Lisa and I decided it was time to do something drastic. Something had to change. I was diagnosed with diabetes, I have to use a C-PAP machine at night because I have sever sleep apnea, and I am taking medicine to control my cholesterol. I started talking to people I know who have had the Lap Band surgery. It worked and they loved it. More research and I decided that this was something that I needed to do. Something has to change.

The process. Two weeks before the surgery you start a liquid diet. The liquid diet continues for four weeks after to let your system adapt to the change that has been made. After the surgery my stomach will be the size of an egg. This means that my whole outlook on food has to change. As I said, I am addicted to food. My liquid diet is actually a fast and my prayer is that God will break the addiction in my life. When thus fast period is over I will not see food as the center of all that I do but a peripheral in my life. I won't stop at fast food places just because I can and want to. I don't want to ever have to fight that desire again. After the four week liquid diet I can start soft foods and then regular foods but my meal size will be 2 to 4oz. But with a new outlook on food, eating that little won't be a big deal.

The Fight

Thursday, February 12, 2009

I WANT TO NIBBLE!!!!!

4 comments:

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My Biggest Loser Pose Feb 2007