The Fight: Ready for Food

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Ready for Food

Lisa and I were walking through Fred Myers today picking up a few things we needed and suddenly I was ready for food. It was kind of an odd feeling and I was not sure what to do with it. Then I started thinking that I have to be on this liquid diet/fast for another 30 days and I started to get depressed. This was one of those challenge days, a conflict going on between my ears. One part of me saying “Time for food!” and the other part of me saying “Not for a few more weeks.” AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!! As this battle of the mind was taking place I had to start applying some of those strategies for taking control of my thoughts. What is the goal? To lose weight and beat the addiction. How am I going to get there? Lap Band surgery in two days. I can’t quite now! So I sucked it up, grabbed a bottle of water and started drinking it. As long as I paid for it before I left the store right??? (I did) So the moral of the day is this, you don’t have to give in to those cravings and thoughts for food. Who is in control? I am, and my desire for the outcome of this journey is greater than my “need” to EAT.

2 comments:

AnonymousFebruary 1, 2009 at 9:08 PM
We are thinking about you!! We prayed for you this afternoon! You've been on our hearts and we'll praying for a great surgery on Tuesday! We'll be thinking about you all day! We love you and once again are very proud of you!
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AmyFebruary 2, 2009 at 1:10 PM
Hi Pat! I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you! It is hard to not go in reverse somedays isn't it?? Thankyou, Jesus, that His strength is so evident on those days.
Can I recommend a good book on addiction and how it works, and how God's grace is so needed to overcome? It's called "Addiction and Grace" by Gerald May. It was very very eye opening... I am going to post some about the nature of addiction, and how it works.
It really helped me to see my food addiction for what it was, and to know when "it" is speaking to me. It can trick you... convince to do something that ultimately is not good for you. Another book that was so good was, "Journey of Desire" by John Eldredge... oh man! So good!

Just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers today! Press on and don't look back!
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Your encouraging words mean the world to me. Thank you for sharing your heart. ~ Pat

My Story

Here is what I have come to finally admit, I am addicted to food. I am starting this journey weighing more then I ever had before, 391. Yep three hundred and ninty one pounds. You can check out my best Biggest Loser pose in the pictures. I alway knew I was big but like some people who look in the mirror and say, "I am fat." I can look in the mirror and not see how big I really am. I have dieted off and on so many time. I have lost 50 pounds, 60 pounds, 80 pounds, 30 and 40 pounds and just like most everyone I gained it all back and more. For the last year or so with the help of my wife Lisa, I have been considering getting the lap band surgery. I remember the free seminar we went to, "No way!". Surgery was to drastic and not for me. But I was challenged about my weight and lost 70 pounds with Isagenix. I gained 80 or so back. A couple of months ago Lisa and I decided it was time to do something drastic. Something had to change. I was diagnosed with diabetes, I have to use a C-PAP machine at night because I have sever sleep apnea, and I am taking medicine to control my cholesterol. I started talking to people I know who have had the Lap Band surgery. It worked and they loved it. More research and I decided that this was something that I needed to do. Something has to change.

The process. Two weeks before the surgery you start a liquid diet. The liquid diet continues for four weeks after to let your system adapt to the change that has been made. After the surgery my stomach will be the size of an egg. This means that my whole outlook on food has to change. As I said, I am addicted to food. My liquid diet is actually a fast and my prayer is that God will break the addiction in my life. When thus fast period is over I will not see food as the center of all that I do but a peripheral in my life. I won't stop at fast food places just because I can and want to. I don't want to ever have to fight that desire again. After the four week liquid diet I can start soft foods and then regular foods but my meal size will be 2 to 4oz. But with a new outlook on food, eating that little won't be a big deal.

The Fight

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Ready for Food

2 comments:

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My Biggest Loser Pose Feb 2007