Pizza, oh Pepperoni Pizza....

This has been a really busy week which is why I have not blogged in a few days, sorry about that. Actually the last few days have been great, busy, but great. Even the over powering smell of pepperoni pizza, as good as it smelled, didn't make me want to go back. I am looking forward to the new challenges that are ahead of me. I know when I start eating my weight lose will change and that's ok. My goal is to lose 12 pounds a month. In the past 39 days I have lost 53 pounds, that's a little more then a pound a day so I think 12 pounds a month should not be a problem. I am looking forward to it. Today I was walking through REI just dreaming about the sports and activities I will be able to do. I can't wait to do some climbing, I can't wait to go biking. A whole new world is about to open up for me...

Lisa laughed at me today

Can you believe it!!!! Ha ha, I was coming out of the bathroom smiling because I lost almost 2 pounds from yesterday and she says with this big smirk, "I thought you were only going to weigh yourself every three or four days? You have been on that scale everyday!" Ah shoot, I guess I have and I did say that I was only going to weigh every three or four days but dang, that's hard. I was on the dreaded plateau and I just wanted to see it break. I made it for awhile just weighing every couple of days because it was so discouraging to see no movement on the scale but now, well, now it's exciting again! So I deserved to be laughed at and it was a good thing because hey, I lost another 2 pounds which means I am down 51 pounds since I started my liquid diet/fast Jan 20th, right on!

Learning Curve

I am a week out from being able to eat again and last night I had a "test" run. Now, I am not the type who has to make everyone around me suffer because of what I am going through. I am on a liquid diet but that does not mean that I can't enjoy the time I have with friends when there is food involved. Honestly, having someone eat food while I am sitting there drinking soup broth doesn't bother me. So, last night Lisa and I went to dinner with another couple that I hope we become really close friends with. Where did we go? To the restaurant that is the epitome of portion control, Claim Jumpers! I ordered a cup of chicken tortia soup, broth only. It was thick and it was yummy. As I was eating I realized that I was about half way done with the cup and I was not filling full. "That was odd" I thought, "I should be filling full" and as I sat there thinking about it I realized that I had been so involved with the conversation that I was eating to fast. Any food addict knows that if you want to eat a lot of something that taste good you eat fast because you can get more in before your stuffed, that's how I normally ate. Sitting at the table I made a decision, I wasn't going to eat anymore and boy let me tell you, I am glad I did. I put my napkin over the cup and pushed it away and about 2 minutes later it hit me, I was stuffed, seriously full. Lisa and I talked about it on the way home. I am going to have to really think about how I am eating when I am eating in able to form new eating habits. With the band you have to chew your food really good or your food can get stuck, not good I am told. You have to eat slowly and make sure you don't eat to much. Last night was a great reminder for me that I have a large learning curve ahead and that I still have some major changes to make. One last note, I finally broke 330!!! I hit the scale at 329 this morning, it's going to be a good day!

Driving my Addiction

I have been on this liquid diet for 4 and 1/2 weeks now, I am looking forward to being able to chew!!! A lot has changed for me which was desperately needed if I am going to be successful in not only my weight lose but in maintaining that weight lose. At first when I would think about eating only 4 to 6 ounces it was hard to imagine, I mean shoot, that's nothing. I used to be able to put away two chicken breasts and whatever else was offered. Now, when I can start eating again, I will flatten out one chicken breast, cook it on the George Foreman and that will be at least 4, maybe 5 meals. Wow, that's not much. But with the new way of thinking about food, who cares, I don't need two chicken breasts. I only need what is necessary to fuel my body. I don't have to have food anymore. It is a very freeing experience when you look at it that way. When I would go to a party or a function, there was always food. I didn't just get some of it, I got a lot of it, a few plates at least and then excuses to travel by the food table to get more. I don't have to do that any more. My addiction was driving me, now, I am driving my addiction. Every morning I get up and ask God to continue this change that is taking place inside of me. Every morning I thank Him that He is working in me and releasing me in this new freedom. God never said life would be easy and He never promised me tomorrow. Jesus said not to worry about tomorrow because today has enough problems of it's own! So true. No, tomorrow is not guaranteed but what He did promise, is that He would be there with me every step of the way.

Look Only If You Want

The thing about this blog, I have had to be pretty honest. You see, I teach people how to deal with bad images in their minds because of what they see in their job. Believe me, we see some pretty bad stuff. Now, if you decide to look, I am going to subject you to “some pretty bad stuff”. So if you want to see my newest Biggest Loser Pose scroll down and look under the Daily Weight Lose Chart.

The Dreaded Plateau

I know that looking at the daily weight lose section it shows that I have lost 3 pounds in the last 5 days. That is good and for sure nothing to complain about but I have to be honest, I am frustrated. I am not sure if it should be aimed toward my scale or at me. I few days ago the scale said 336 and then 333 and then 335 and then today 333.8, I hit… The Plateau… it’s a dreaded word in the weight lose world. That time period where you are tested in your resolve to lose weight. There have been many times over the years where I would hit this place and give in after a few days because I was frustrated. Losing weight is like a rush, you get excited, working out becomes easier, what your eating becomes acceptable and the scale keeps moving and then… The Plateau… I hate the plateau!!! Well, I am here… The Plateau… I have been feeling more and more frustrated. Suddenly the thought of two more weeks of liquid diet is dreadful. I really want to be able to eat something. But I can’t, I won’t. My resolve is being tested and I just simply am not going to give in. It’s hard but I have enough experiences with plateau’s to know that they will eventually break. It has been fun throwing my 4XL shirts into the Goodwill Pile because they are too big for me. It has been fun being able to walk longer and not get winded, to go snowshoeing. To hear the incredible encouraging comments from those of you who are reading my blog. Frustrated? Yes, but I still can’t wait for the after picture of holding up my size 56 pants.

More Small Victories

Today I went snowshoeing and it was awesome. Walking through the forest with a light snow falling. Up hills and down hills and I did great. All the walking I have been doing sure helped but so did losing the 40 some pounds I have lost. I put my winter jacket on that I have not worn in a really long time and it zipped up. So cool. I know it sounds silly but being able to wear clothes you have not worn in forever sure makes you feel good.

Check me out in my suit!

Check me out in my suit! A couple of years ago I did Isagenix and lost about 60 pounds. Hit Thanksgiving and I could never regain the weight loss momentum again. I started eating like I used to eat and it just got worse. I gained the 60 pounds back and added another 20 or so just for the heck of it. That is what happens with diets. We lose it and gain it, try another diet, we lose it and gain it and on and on. I don’t know about you but I have done a lot of diets and a lot of them worked, but, and it’s a big one, all the weight just comes back because we don’t change our minds set about food. The addiction is still there, a little self discipline, and then a little slip, an excuse, other slip, and it is all downhill from there. The reality of what I am doing is that the lap band is another diet. People who have had the surgery have failed the diet and are right back where they started. There has to be a changing of the mind, the addiction has to be broken. I am learning to be flexible, making changes to my thought process based on the scripture about not being mastered by anything. I was weighing myself every morning. I started finding myself being driven by what the scale would say every day. I was going to bed each night with one thought, “What will I weigh tomorrow?” So I have made a change, I am only going to weigh myself every three days or so. I know it sounds silly, but to me it’s significant. And then it is the little victories, like my suit. The last time I buttoned that jacket was… well, let’s just say that it has been a long time. Same goes for the shirt I am wearing, it has been hanging in my closet for a really long time. I like these little victories. Oh yeah Lisa took this picture tonight after a wedding I did.

I WANT TO NIBBLE!!!!!

It is 8:52, I am watching TV and I want to nibble. It’s an old habit of mine, eat something after everyone goes to bed as I watch TV. Potato chips, peanut butter and marsh mellows, just a big spoon of peanut butter, oh and my favorite, Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal. All of this is a part of the addictive eating. I didn’t want to eat but hey, it’s ok, just a few chips, just one bowl of cereal… maybe two. I am so glad that this is not me anymore. But tonight, sitting here watching TV, I want to eat. Lucky for me, I have you. Instead of getting up and getting something to eat, I grab my laptop and talk about my battle. And it is a battle. I have more energy than before, I feel like the freakin’ Energizer Bunny! I am feeling good but in my mind I am going through something like with-drawls, I am cranky and a little sharp edged in my attitude. I am sure you will understand when I say that sometimes it is the people we are closest to and love the most that we let our guard down with. So tonight, I am watching TV and talking to you, processing my thoughts and struggles and I am NOT nibbling!

Busy, Busy, Busy...

The last couple of days have been just a tad bit busy to say the least. My post-op meeting at the doctors office went well and I have to go in in 3 weeks for my first "fill". The lap band is adjustable and right now it is set of the most open setting. There is a port just under the skin that allows the doc access to the band. They can make the band smaller by adding an injection of silicon or they can take silicon out to make the band bigger. It takes a few months to figure out where I am the most comfortable. But for right now I have 3 more weeks of liquid diet. For the last week it has been all water and broth now I have to add protein drinks to my menu. I have to have at least 90 grams of protein a day which is 3 30 gram protein drinks but here is the problem. I made a protein drink for breakfast that had about 20 grams of protein in it using 6 ounces of soy milk. I could barley finish it! The nurse said to take the week to work my way up to 90 grams a day, ya, it will take the week to do that for sure!!! Last night I was out on a call for work so I didn't get a chance to eat (drink) my protein but guess what? I wasn't hungry. On the way home I found myself thinking about food but this time it was different. My thoughts were, "Hey, I should be hungry but I am not, how cool is that!" Knowing I should have some protein I went ahead and opened a 12 ounce thing of pre-made protein drink, I got about half of it down and was done. 90 grams in one day????? Oh boy, I never thought I would see the day that I complained about having to eat food. Hey did I mention I can tie my left shoe now???!!!

My Water Challenge

Tomorrow is my post-op appointment with the surgeon and the day I can start having protein drinks again. This afternoon I was craving protein but all I could have was water, wow, it’s a good thing water is a renewable resource! It is so good for you. I am drinking a minimum of 64 ounces a day. How much are you drinking a day? This is from betterhealthway.com, “Water is a natural appetite suppressant, so developing a good water drinking habit can be a long-term aid in achieving and maintaining a healthy weight. Doctor F. Batmanghelidj MD, author of "Your Body's Many Cries For Water" says most times your “hunger” is your body asking for water – not food. It's also important to remember that when the body is dehydrated, fat cells get "rubbery" and cannot be easily metabolized. This means that it's harder to lose when you don't drink your water.” Also check out http://www.thedietchannel.com/Top-4-Benefits-of-Drinking-Water.htm
So here is my challenge to you. Can you drink as much water per day as I am drinking? Coffee doesn’t count.

Water, pure water. I picked this up at FredMyers the other day for a couple of bucks and it works great. It holds 32 ounces and is easy to pack around. Come on, no excuses. I am drinking 64 – 80 ounces a day, I dare you, keep up with me. And just in case you’re wondering, it works.

Hey, does my face look skinnier to you? 37 pounds in 3 weeks

How Am I Doing???

Amazing well... I think. I have never been here before. I can tell you this, this is different. I want to share my struggles but really, right now, I am not struggling. I am getting used to the new eating. Four ounces of soup broth and I am FULL. Starting Tuesday I get to start protein drinks. If four ounces of soup broth fills you up what is a 12 ounce protein drink going to do. I will never eat regular food at this rate, and I am ok with that. Watching the scale numbers show lower and lower every day is actually exciting and each day gets even more exciting. And now the worry sets in. How long until I plateau? When will the cravings kick in? How soon before I get bored of chicken broth? But then I think, “Who cares” food is not what it used to be to me. I am no longer ruled by food. Getting bored with what I am eating, well in five weeks I can eat whatever. Wait! whatever I want? Everything is permissible but not everything beneficial. Food for the stomach and stomach for food, I will not be ruled by anything. The fact is, I can eat anything I want. The reality is I am only going to eat what is necessary whenever necessary because I am not driven by what I eat.
I am not the same person I used to be in this aspect of my life and I think that is why I am struggling. I think I should be thinking a certain way and I am not thinking that way and it is weirding me out. So onward I go, the new Pat and I like him!

Are you Walking???

So many people think that they have to join a gym and hit the cardio machines in order to lose weight. All of that is good and hey, why not... It takes time, money and effort. Not the "work out" effort but the "I have to drive there" and "I have to change my cloths" effort. Gyms are breading grounds for excuses. Ok, so, don't go to the gym. Get up 30 min's early and walk around your neighborhood. You don't have to speed walk and you don't have to run, just walk. Put on some worship in your I-Pod or MP3 player, talk to God, you will feel invigorated. "But wait", you say, "get up 30 min's early. Yeah right!!!" Seriously, do you want to lose the weight? Because if you do 30 min's is just 30 min's and you will feel better after walking for a half an hour then if you slept that half an hour so stop whining! A lot of people get dressed up to go to work, a uniform, business attire, whatever, and I am willing to bet at some point after you get home you change. Go for another walk after you change. Who cares if you are wearing jeans or sweats, your just walking. Yesterday Lisa drove me into my office for a little while so I could get out of the house. After we got home, I went for a walk. I was wearing khakis and a shirt, I put on a jacket because it was raining and off I went around the neighborhood. When you walk, you are not trying to work up a sweat you just want to elevate your heart rate. You don't have to dress up or down to walk. So get out there, at least once a day, but if you can twice a day and lets walk!

I can’t tie my left shoe!!!

Serious, I can tie my right shoe but I can’t tie the left one. Even though I am doing great I feel like I have been in a knife fight. I have seven incisions across my upper belly that have to heal so I have been learning my range of motion, I can bend to the right but not to the left. I think we take for granted just how much we use our abdominal muscles. This has been an amazing journey so far, physically, mentally and spiritually. Those of you who know me know that I am a man of faith and I want to share all the different ways I have seen God working in the circumstances. I want you to see how your prayers have been answered. So here we go;
1. I started a liquid diet two weeks before the surgery and only once did I struggle with hunger and the one time I did showed me just how much my emotions are tied to my eating.
2. The surgery was scheduled for an 11:30 AM check in time with surgery happening at about 1:30 PM. It was my only anxiety, I had been using the protein drink and water to help curve the appetite. You can have nothing to drink at all after mid-night the night before. I was worried I was going to get hungry. The day before surgery the doctors office called and asked if I wouldn’t mind changing my check-in time to 5:30 AM with the surgery happening at about 7:30.
3. Every procedure done at the hospital, from the EDG the surgery and recover had a nurse who was the wife or sister of people I work with in Kent and Maple Valley. This meant that I was more than just a patient I was family. One of these nurses came up to my room latter and told me that my surgery was absolutely text book perfect.
4. I hate needles!!! They had to reset my IV after surgery. They couldn’t find a vein, it took three nurses who tried two times each, another nurse who decided I had been poked enough, couldn’t find a vein and didn’t try (Thank God!!!). A doctor had to come in and put it in. They called me the human pin cushion. The miracle in all of this, I was totally cool with and had fun teasing the nurses as they poked me full of holes.
5. The nurse came in and said it was time for my pain medication. I asked if I had to take it because I didn’t have any pain. She didn’t believe me at first but I will say I have not yet taken any pain meds because I have not had any pain.
6. I was supposed to be released from the hospital sometime in the morning the next day. They discharged me that night, 12 to 14 hours early because I was recovering so well.
There is a lot more but this is getting long so I am going to do a part two tomorrow.

The Day After

The day after surgery and the reality of the change is hitting me. Before the surgery I would have a protein shake for breakfast and lunch and a can of chicken broth for dinner. After the surgery I cannot have the protein shake until next week so the band can settle but I can have broth. It took the entire day to get through a whole can! I drank the first few ounces and I was full, I mean full like I ate too much, it was a strange feeling. I actually didn’t finish the first little bit that was in my cup. And do you know what the cool thing was? I was ok with it. In fact I went all day today and thought very little about food and it wasn’t because I was super busy. I walked the neighborhood loop 4 times, watched TV and watched Lisa clean the kitchen pantry (I would have helped but I can’t lift anything over 5 lbs because of the incisions). It was actually fun having Lisa ask me to have something besides water. “Do you want your broth yet?” And my answer was, “Nah, I am really not hungry.” Now that is change!
I got to come home early, I have not had any pain, and I am feeling very good. My incisions are a little sore but that is to be expected. I have received the greatest e-mails, blog comments, and phone calls from so many people. The support means the world to me. But what means even more is that so many of the comments involved people telling me that they are being inspired to change their lives. So come on, let’s do this together!!!

Morning of the 4th

I just got back from my walk and I am feeling really good. The discomfort I was feeling from surgery is gone and now I am learning my rang of motion. If I bend to far one way or the other my incisions let me know, ouch! If you scroll down the page I added some photos from the day. I will continue to up-date you on the weight lose and how I am changing my thought process about food and how, when, and why I would eat. All of your words of encouragement, your thoughts and your prayers have made all the difference in the world. THANK YOU

Yeah!!!! I am Home!!!!!

I am home!!!!!! Yep, the Doctor let me go 12 hours early. The surgery was “text book” according to the nurse, who, by the way is the wife of one of my Maple Valley Firefighters. I was in my room about 10 and then was up walking by 1030. I was supposed to walk around every hour but I decided that I was going to bother the nurses more than they could bother me so every 30 min’s I was ringing the call bell so they could unhook me and I walked and walked and walked. I was also supposed to drink water out of little cups so I drank and I drank and then I was supposed to pee, that was not a problem. At one point the nurse told me to “Stop acting like I didn’t have surgery!” The nurse wanted to give me Vicaden but I didn’t have any pain so I didn’t take it. The Doctor came in and found out I was doing exceptionally well and told me to go home. Lisa and I were pretty happy! So I am home and doing very well.

post surgery, thankyou for your prayers.

hi everyone, this is Lisa and Im posting for pat. He's such a goof, he wakes up and asks me to post for him, and I'm not as good at it as he is, so forgive the spelling and such. so from Pat, surgery went well, still a little groogy thankyou for your prayers, right now I feel really good. still need to change the way I think. as I was wheeled from the surgery room I vagley recall asking Lisa for a piece of prime rib. It was ment as a joke but it still reflect inward thinking. So now as phase 2 of this journey starts umm theres still lots of work to do. so for now hand me another cup of water!!

Surgery is Today

My Surgery is today, it's 4:35 in the morning and we will be leaving in about 25 min's. Am I nervous? I wasn't last night but I think now I am. :) I think it is natural to be a little nervous when you are going to be put to sleep, cut open (even laparoscopicly) and have something placed inside of you. Thoughts of the Borg from Star Trek and the creature coming out of the guys chest in Aliens come to mind. I am sure you can think of a few other things. But really, it's all good, this is a journey where there is no turning back from, no way, no how. I feel like I am about to get on a wild roller coaster. There is the fear and excitement all at the same time as you have waited in that long line and now you are just entering the loading area. You can see the cars, hear the reactions of the people getting off and getting on. In the distance you hear the screams of those already on the track as it swooshes by.... Yeah, that's how I feel right now and I think that contributed to the 1 pound weight gain that I am showing this morning. Well, wish me luck....

Surgery Tomorrow!!!

My final blog before the surgery, am I nervous? Actually no, I’m not, I am excited, not for the surgery but for what it represents in my life. The Lap band is not a magic pill, just getting it is not going to end of my weight problems. There is still work to do and if I don’t eat right and take my vitamins then I will end up right back where I started, way over weight, diabetes and sleep apnea. No thank you!!! Over the last two weeks I have come a long way in changing how I think about food and how I eat but the real challenge is yet to come. You see, right now I can’t eat and I know that in 10 weeks, I can eat. I can’t eat much, just a couple of ounces at a time but the point is this. When I get to this place where I can eat is when I will once again be tempted and will have to deal with my cravings. So, right now is critical, what I am learning about food, my emotions, how, why, and when I eat, all of it counts right now. I know you have heard it before but my choices today influence my actions of tomorrow. That goes for all of our choices in all of our lives. One of the things I have learned in my job is that life is to short and I am done wasting it on bad choices that destroy my future.

A quick note about my surgery. I check into the hospital at 5:30 in the morning and the surgery should start around 9:30, it's a 45 to 90 minute procedure. I am supposed to be in overnight for observation. I have to do a lot of walking and different things. If you really feel you need to come say hi I won’t say no but please only come if you feel that it is something you are supposed to do. I appreciate the support you have all given me and I am going to need that support more than ever in the months to come. What a journey and I am so glad you are walking it with me. I will blog when I wake up, I will still be medicated so you can't hold me responsible for anything I might say!!!

Ready for Food

Lisa and I were walking through Fred Myers today picking up a few things we needed and suddenly I was ready for food. It was kind of an odd feeling and I was not sure what to do with it. Then I started thinking that I have to be on this liquid diet/fast for another 30 days and I started to get depressed. This was one of those challenge days, a conflict going on between my ears. One part of me saying “Time for food!” and the other part of me saying “Not for a few more weeks.” AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!! As this battle of the mind was taking place I had to start applying some of those strategies for taking control of my thoughts. What is the goal? To lose weight and beat the addiction. How am I going to get there? Lap Band surgery in two days. I can’t quite now! So I sucked it up, grabbed a bottle of water and started drinking it. As long as I paid for it before I left the store right??? (I did) So the moral of the day is this, you don’t have to give in to those cravings and thoughts for food. Who is in control? I am, and my desire for the outcome of this journey is greater than my “need” to EAT.