Oh the Hollidays

I love this season of Christmas but I am not sure I like this time of year. Don't get me wrong, the blessing of Thanksgiving and Christmas and the meaning we pull from them are amazing, but... In my job, this is the busiest time of the year. It is amazing how many people actually die during this time of year, a lot. From natural death to suicides, and then of course what we have experienced in the Law Enforcement community this year has been nothing short of absolutely horrific! On a personal level, for those of us who struggle with a food addiction, the holidays are like forcing an alcoholic into a bar and all the drinks are on the house!!! I knew that going into this season was going to be difficult so I decided that instead of setting myself up to fail, telling myself I can not enjoy the season, I would go easy and set an attainable goal. Gain no more then 10 pounds, watch my snacking so it doesn't get out of control and stay away from Fast Food. I decided to enjoy myself at the parties and family functions. So, how did it go???? I was in my Weight Loss Dr.'s office on Monday this week, it had been 2 months, the holidays, and I gained 7.8 pounds, I stayed within my goal. Jan. 1st was the day I would ramp back up, watching my cal. intake and getting my exercise back on track. Since then I lost 2 pounds again and I feel good about myself. It won't be long and I will be back to where I was with 20 pounds to go to my goal!

I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT

Do I sound excited? I should 'cause I DID IT!!!!! The scale read 238.8 this morning when I steeped on it which means two things, 1) I broke through 240 and 2) I am 1 pound away from having lost 150 pounds! Wow, I feel good. When I saw my doctor Monday I asked him about upping my protein intake because I am so active. Protein is essential to losing weight, If you are not getting enough protein your body goes into starvation mod and actually stores everything it can, I was drinking 90 grams of protein a day and when I was riding I would have to stop and eat a protein bar because I was feeling sick. Not a low sugar sick but a lack of protein sick and as soon as I ate it I would feel better. This week I am drinking 120 grams of protein, i have not had to stop and eat a protein bar, I feel better and I broke the 240 mark. If your trying to lose look at the amount of protein you are taking in. The Costco brand ready made protein drink in great. 11 oz of drink, 30 grams of protein with only 160 calories, low fat and low sugar, they are great! Well, only 18.8 pounds to me goal, come on 220!!!!!!

Today is a New Day

Psalm 139 says that every day ordained for me was written in His Book before one of them came to be. This means that today is an ordained day, it has been set aside before it ever started so it is going to be a great day. Everything that happens to us is all relative to how we see it. Really, is it a bad day because bad things have happened, or is it an ordained day. It doesn't mean that what is happening isn't bad because bad things do happen but how I look at those bad things in the light of today itself being ordained will help me cope and live through that bad thing. I think Paul said it will when he wrote, "I am convinced that there is absolutely nothing that can separate me from the love of Christ." When I got on the scale today I really didn't expect what I saw. I was letting discouragement lead me and it almost kept me from stepping on. I was expecting 245, 247 somewhere in that neighborhood, what I saw was 242. Discouragement was telling me that I had lost ground and I was letting it lead me, BUT, today is ordained. I believe that God gave me a glimpse. I have not broken 240, not yet, but the glimpse I saw, latter confirmed while doing my devotions was that I have to choose my out look. I can be lead by discouragement or I can see my ordained day ad see it as a great day. Discouragement would have kept me from seeing what God wanted me to see, discouragement would have kept me believing that I can't do it. Discouragement would have stopped my progress today. But today has been ordained for me, today has been set before it has even started and today I have a choice. To see the day as ordained no matter what happens or be lead by discouragement and miss the opportunity of God. Today is ordained.

Feeling Discouraged

I really am, the past 15 days I have been working out, biking, eating right journaling and I can't seem to break 240, it's frustrating!!! Ok, I don't want to rant about what I can't do because I know it can be done. I also know that with persistence it will happen, I just wish it would happen sooner then later. Ahh, the mark of my generation, we want it all and we want it now. Weight loss is not like that, even with great tools such as the lap band. It still takes work, it still takes, discipline and perseverance. I still feel discouraged... So, here is my plan; Up my work outs with weights to 5 days a week instead of three. Do some form of cardio 7 days a week. With day light savings time my biking will change but I will ride at least three times a week, I just have to come home from work early meaning I will to have to go in early but biking is worth it!!! I will continue to journal and set goals form myself everyday, reachable and measurable. I can do it!!!!!!

I am doing it!!!

10 days ago I started really going after it again. I started journeying my food, my calorie intake, what I am eating and when I an eating it. It has been amazing to see the change! Today I got on the Scale and it was 241.9 which means that if I keep this going I will be down into the 230's really soon. That's a mini goal of mine. Almost there...
I am lifting wights in the morning, 3 days a week, with my good friend Ted and it has made all the difference in the world. Thank you Ted!!! When I started 10 days ago I was at 249.7 which means that for the last 6 weeks I have been stuck in the upper 240's not because I was on a plateau but because I got complacent, satisfied with my looks and lost sight of my goal. It was getting hard and instead of working at it I started coasting but now I am back and feeling great and looking at my goal, 21 more pounds and I am there!!!

Starting again and aagain and again and...

Well, I guess if the Bible says to forgive 70x7 and beyond then I have the opportunity to start again and again and again and... do you get my point! Today I started to journal again, writing down my foods, water drinking, vitamins, exercise. It felt good, everything that went into the my mouth was written out on paper and it was a good thing! Accountability is always good and I need it. In order to have a lifestyle change and not fall back into old habits that have been knocking on my door I will have to maintain the accountability for a really long time and I am OK with that!

My Struggle

Well, I saw my Dr. on Monday and this past month I lost no weight. I can't say that I am disappointed because I was kind of expecting it. I have all the great excuses, a week of vacation, a week of teaching a 40 hour class, missed several days of exercise, totally off my routine and schedule. Good excuses and they all work but still excuses none the less. The real reason is that I am really struggling with old habits and bad eating. I had to laugh... and cry..., I was bragging to Lisa that I had not had any teriyaki in a few weeks and what do I eat that very night??? Teriyaki!!! Dang it!!! That stuff is so full of sodium and not good for you. I really am struggling. An alcoholic can stay away from alcohol but a food-alcoholic has to eat, it sucks and my discipline has been weak. I know what I have to do, smaller portion sizes, no late snacking, start lifting weights and not just get a cardio work out. If I make these changes I will break through into the 230's, I am so darn close. I have been bouncing between 241 and 246 this past month, up and down, up and down. This time it is not a plateau but a matter of discipline and work. I have to count my calories, which is something I have stopped doing, track what I am eating and cut my portions. I am eating until I am stuff, not just full. It is so strange still to eat such a small portion and feel full. My brain tells me to keep eating. I have to stop listening to it!
Ok. This is a new month, the past is behind me and the day is ahead. Jesus said don't worry about tomorrow because today has enough problems of its own. So, today, I will count my calories. Today, I will watch my portions. Today, I already meet with Ted Cook who is going to start lifting weights with me starting Friday. Today, we put our plan into place and set up our new work out. Today, I will eat but I will not be controlled by what I eat. I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me!!!!